No Homo, Bro
by Lykanthropa
Summary: Scout is shocked when he learns that Medic is gay. When he tells him during a conversation that Scout is not his type anyway, the runner feels challenged. He is a sex bomb and no one can resist him. Not even Medic. And so he begins with the art of seduction.


**Art of seduction**

"Pants down."  
"D-does this really have to be?"  
"This is not your first time."  
"Yeah, but…"  
"Don't make always such a fuss! Pants down."  
"Can I first-"  
"No! The hell, Scout!"  
The boy flinches at Medics's angry voice. He is standing in front of the older man in his underpants, but he simply cannot expose himself in front of him. Of course, it's nonsense to be ashamed of a doctor. This is as natural as... as...

Scout cannot come up with an idea. Medic sighs loudly.  
"Always the same with all of you... Come to my infirmary, cry around, you need my help and then you behave like chaste virgins when it comes to undress. I thought you'd hurt your penis. Then it's probably in your interest that I look at it."  
"I just didn't hurt it... I broke it!"  
Medic laughs loudly.  
"I doubt that. If so, you would not be standing in front of me now. How was that supposed to happen?"

"What?"  
"I er... have my... baseball bat bound to my... penis..."  
"Speak louder, Bengel."  
Scouts face turns completely red. He clenches his hands into fists and pinches his eyes tightly shut as the embarrassing confession bubbles out of his mouth.  
"Iboundmybaseballbattomypenis! …okay? When it was…erected."  
Medic looks at him for a moment; and then breaks out into laughter.  
"Why did you do that? Did you want to push it up? Or measure it?"  
"Yeah… Don't know…"  
Medic wipes the tears from his face, his laugh just die away slowly.  
Offended Scout crosses his arms in front of his chest.  
"Get finished already."  
"I'm sorry Scout, but this is your own fault. How do you get such ideas? You should think that as a mercenary you don't have the time to get on such puberty thoughts. And that your penis cannot hold the heavy bat even in the erect condition, you should have known this. But what I always say; you never stop learning."  
"Yeah, yeah…"  
"So, and now pants down. I want to take a look at it."  
But again Scout hesitates.  
"Scout, I'm your team doctor. Your closest confidant. In this room, I am your best friend and what happens in here, remains here. Showing me your intimate area is completely natural. As natural as if your mother sees you naked."  
The runner gets red again, his eyes widen in horror.  
"You don't do it any better, Doc!"  
"Come on. Make an effort. Now I just look at it. But as soon as you come in a certain age, you also need a prostate examination."  
"What is that?"  
"I push a finger into your anus and examine tension of the sphincter, mucous membrane of the rectum, and size and condition of the prostate."  
The horror is written in Scouts' face.  
"Are you also doing this with the others? Are you gay?"  
Medic is aghast.  
"First: yes, I do it with the others. Second: this has nothing to do with homosexuality."  
"Hmm... And er... how do the others find that? I mean... how do they react when you insert... your finger... in there...?"  
"That is different. Some of them make a fuss, for others it's not a problem. Spy, for example, enjoys the palpate. And Demoman had even ejaculated."  
"Why?!"  
"When the prostate is touched, a man is sexually stimulated. Didn't you know that? Well, you're still a virgin. So that's alright."  
"I'm not a virgin!"  
"Sex dolls don't count."  
Scout gasps.  
"W-where did you know this?!"

"I-I mean… That's not true!"  
"Anyway. Even if that were true, you are still a virgin. A person is always virginal in two ways. Only when you has made experience with both sexes you has lost your innocence."  
"…but… homosexuality is not normal."  
"Why?"  
"Well..."  
Scout tries desperately to find a reason. Medic can only shake his head.  
"I am 30 years older than you. I have seen and experienced a lot. I was also young."  
"I can't believe that."  
"Believe it. If I have learned one thing about humans, then that they are excellent guinea pigs and that they are nothing but animals. And what is more natural than nature?"  
"What do you mean? Animals don't do any homosexual activities."  
"Oh yes. They do."  
"You're kiddin' me."  
"Not at all. In addition, there are species of animals in which the males bear the offspring."  
"How is that supposed to work?"  
"Nature is a mystery. In humans there is even relactation in men."  
"And what is that?"  
"The production of milk."

Scout doesn't understand. But Medic disabuse him gladly.  
"Men can breast-feed."  
Scouts jaws open up. He stares at Medic with wide eyes and a disbelieving glance.  
"Well, it gets better. There are even men who can become pregnant. However, they have a certain prehistory. Well, that's another story. Scout?"  
"I think… I have to lie down…" The boy is leaning with an arm on the operating table beside him.  
"Now don't make such a fuss. If all these things are possible, then it is only natural. Thanks to science, we have this knowledge. Be grateful for that. We live in a progressive age."  
"Well, I don't know if I should be happy about it... But I think you are only scaring me."  
"Believe what you want. But now pants down!"  
Medic grabs Scout's boxer short and pulls it with a jerk from his hips.  
"Aaaahhhh! Doc! What the hell!?"  
"Was that so hard now?"  
The boy turns his crimson head aside, staring rigidly at the wall.  
"Hmm…" Medic straightened his glasses. "It doesn't look particularly hurt. Are you still in pain?"  
"…no."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Cannot you just take your beam gun and straighten it?"  
"Why should my Medigun be used when you have no pain?"

"You know, she cannot make it bigger."  
Scout facepalm himself. He pulls up the boxer short in no time at all, graby his clothes and whispers excitedly:  
"Forget it. It was not so bad after all…"  
And so he storms out of the infirmary.  
"This Bengel…"

On the same evening, Medic and Heavy play chess in the common room. Scout and Pyro sit a few meters on the old couch and watch TV on the small apparatus.  
Scout looks at the TV with his eyes, but his ears are with Medic and Heavy.  
On the chessboard are only three game figures. Medic's White King and Pawn are blocked by Heavy's Black King. There is neither a forward nor a backward.  
"I can't believe it... For many years I've been playing chess, but I've never had a stalemate. Very good, Heavy. You are getting better and better" praises Medic his friend.  
"Thank you, Doktor."  
"Are you finished already? It took a long time" gripes Scout, without taking the view from the TV.  
"Do you wanted to play, too?"  
"No? I'm not a grandpa after all."  
"What does that have to do with it?"  
"Chess is an old people game."  
Now the runner looks to the two who look at him with raised eyebrows.  
"As you may suppose, Bengel."  
"Hmpf!"  
Engineer enters the room and announces that the dinner is ready.  
On the way to the dinner room, Medic is taken aside by Spy.  
"At a word, Medic?"  
"Of course."  
"Is everything alright, Doktor?"  
"Yes. Go ahead, Heavy. We'll come right away."  
"You too, Scout."  
"Why? Do you have secrets?"  
"Immediately" Spy orders.  
The runner twisted annoyed his eyes and follows Heavy, towards the dining room  
When they are out of sight, Spy clears his throat.  
"What can I do for you, my friend?"  
"Jeremy was with you in the infirmary today."  
"Yes, he was. And?"  
"Well, after visiting you 'e was kind of different. Slightly distracted. Uncertain."  
"I can very well imagine that."  
"You didn't get too close to 'im, did you?"  
For a moment, Medic looks at Spy skeptically.  
"What do you mean by that?"  
"I um…"  
"You think I would throw myself at your son? Is that what you want to tell me?"  
"Docteur, I…"  
"Do you want to explain to me that just because I'm homosexual, I make a pass at your son? That I consider him as fresh meat? Do you really want to give me credit that? I don't need to lay hands on a 30 years younger boy. Especially if it is the son of one of you. Sure I have my needs. You know very well that I call then for Heavy or Demo. Do you understand? Men."  
Spy massages his temples.  
"I'm really sorry Docteur. I didn't want to ascribe you anything like that. It's just... I'm just feeling as if Jeremy is constantly searching for your proximity."  
"And what do you conclude from it? That he might have fallen in love with me? I can imagine how he would react, if he should find out that I am gay. Since I can hardly imagine that he himself feels so. However, there are many people who pretend to be heterosexual, but inwardly wanting to become intimate with one's own gender. Is this what you fear?"  
"Of course not! I would be even proud of 'im if he was gay. But I just don't want him to be intimate with someone who is so much older than 'imself."  
Medic sighs and puts a hand on Spy's shoulder. He even makes a smile.  
"Spy, as for that, you don't have to worry. I would never put a hand on him. For me, he is something like a son. He is the common son of this team. Our nestling. Besides, I'm the doctor. I don't want you any harm. This also applies to Scout."  
Now Spy also smiles. It is a relieved smile.  
"I'm sorry Docteur. I should 'ave known better."  
"It's okay. He is your son. With this behavior, you prove that you love him and are concerned about him. You're a good father."  
"Merci. But tell me, why was he so distracted after his visit with you?"  
"I told him only a few sobering things. I brought him the reality a little closer. Can you believe that? He didn't even know that there is relactation in men."  
"I don't want to know 'ow you came to this topic."

After the dinner, Medic takes Heavy's hand and both go to the infirmary. There is Medic's bedroom.  
In front of the double door, Medic presses Heavy against the wall and kisses him hot-blooded.  
The Russian accedes with just as much enthusiastic.  
"So it is okay for you?" asks Medic and strokes his fingertips over Heavy's crotch, where a clear bump is already palpable.  
"Da, Doktor…"  
Heavy grabs Medics buttocks with his big hands and pulls the doctor closer to him and then they kissing passionately.  
"What the hell is that crap?"  
Suddenly, Scout stands in front of them and looks at them with eyes wide.  
The boy is aghast.  
"Wait, what? You are gay?!"  
Medic sighs.  
"Scout, you can grin stupidly or make a disgusted face, but please do me a favor and don't say a word."  
"…no homo, bro."  
"I knew it…"  
With his hands raised Scout backs off, until he has gone around the corner.  
Medic sighs again.  
"Scout is silly baby. Does Doktor still is be up for sex?"  
"But sure, Heavy. Let's go to my bedroom."  
Sure Medic still wants to sleep with Heavy, but he will not be able to prevent him from ever thinking that where Scout saw it now, that it would be hard with him in the future.

And indeed Scout avoids him the next day. He does not talk to him and he does not look at him either. He also does the same with Heavy.  
When they sit together for lunch at the dining table, exactly what Medic had thought happens.  
"Hey, guys. Did you actually know that Medic and Heavy are faggots?"  
It becomes quiet at the table. Only Soldier says: "I knew it!"  
But the others don't go into it.  
"Have you nothing to say?"  
"We know that Medic is queer."  
"What?! You know it? And you just tolerate that?"  
"There's nothing to it" says Engineer.  
"So you're probably gay too? Are you all gay, or what?"  
"Shut up!" Spy orders in the stern tone. "We are a team. That's all that counts. And if that a problem for you, then go back to your mama."

"Grow up!"  
"Pah…! Great Team…"  
Medic hears all this quietly. He likes the boy and he does not want anything between them. But it all depends entirely on Scout.  
"Medic and Heavy are miserable fags. I can't be bothered."  
Scout gets up from the table and leaves the room.  
The rest of the team eats on, as if nothing had happened. However, no one says a word anymore until they finish their meal.  
Med would prefer talking to Scout, but he decides that it would be better to leave the boy alone for a while. Some things just get back on their own. And that he would react so, was indeed foreseeable. But Medic did not want implicate Heavy in there. Only because of Scout, Medic had secretly met alternately with Heavy and Demoman, to get intimate with each other.  
Secretly, so this cannot happen.  
At least Demo is not dragged in.

All day long the runner doesn't put in an appearance. But in the evening both meet in the corridor. Scout seems to be on his way to the toilet and Medic is on his way to the infirmary. Scout looks straight ahead, wants to avoid any eye contact as much as possible. But as they walk past each other, he hears the younger one says:  
"No homo."  
Medic is clear that he would say this to Heavy every time, too. And the native German does not want to accept this. He whirls around to Scout, grabs him by the arm and drags him into the infirmary against his will.  
"Let me go! No homo! NO HOMO! Help! Rape!"  
"I've had enough!"  
Medic drags him through the double door and pushes the boy to the center of the room and plants himself in front of Scout, his arms akimbo.  
"Now listen to me, you Bengel. I don't care the way you call me. But dare you to do that with Heavy. He can do nothing for my inclination. He is not homosexual."  
"Are you kiddin' me? He was making out with you!"  
"I sleep with men because I like it. And Heavy gets himself into it because he is a man and also has his needs. After all, there are no women here. It's for us both only sex without any feelings. It often happens that heterosexuals sleep together. In prisons and in the army especially frequently."  
"How can they live with it? I mean the heteros?"  
"As I said. It's just sex. Except for a few differences, there are no deviations from the male and female body."  
"I would never do such a thing!"  
"You don't have to. Everyone decides for himself."

"You know, it does not matter to me how you're doing it for you now. But I'll tell you one thing. If you don't stop treating Heavy differently than before, then you'll have big trouble with me. And believe me. It will not be fun."  
"You cannot ask me to accept that after I just learned this yesterday. God! You saw me naked! Hasn't that aroused you?"  
"You have no choice but to accept it. Otherwise you must go back to your mother. And no. Your naked body did not really aroused me."

"People who react like you are afraid of being tease by people like me. If this is your fear, I can take it from you. You're not my type, and you're too young."  
"What do you mean, I'm not your type?"  
Medic gives the boy a skeptical look.  
"Hey! Don't understand it wrong! I am not gay! But... I'm sexy. I'm a sex bomb!"  
"Who told you this?"

"Go now. I have to work. And remember what I told you."

Without a word Scout leaves the infirmary. Shocked, distracted... but also indignant.  
 _What did he mean, I'm not his type? I always thought gays would like all men. I am also a man! A good looking man. A sex bomb! Oh, wait, old man. I'm going to turn your head. Not aroused by my naked body. Pah!_  
Straight ahead, the runner makes his way to the library. Actually, he wanted to get ready for the bed, because he was quite down. But now he has a task. A mission. The mission to seduce the old man (but not because he is gay, but to prove that homosexuals like all men.) And there will surely be a guidebook.  
The library contains about 150 to 200 books. Books, about battles and strategies. Medical books (Scout can remember how Spy had once asked Medic why these medical books are not in the infirmary so that the German always has them at hand when he needs them, and Medic replied that he did don't need them, he has all the knowledge in his head, and they only stand in the library, so that others can always get a look there, but they are quite bored and somecontain really nauseating pictures.) And some adventure books are also there , novels with romantic and uncanny content. Books about technology and plants.  
Many different books, but none about seduction. Who actually decided which books mercenaries read and which not? Well, surely no one has come to the idea that under the Mercs once homosexual acts would take place.

The next morning, Scout wakes up very early. He feels a squeeze in his back and pulls out a book under himself. At first he cannot explain what it is and how it came into his bed. But then he remembered. He was in the library late yesterday night and had been looking for a book about seduction. And actually found one (Who'd have thought that?)  
Immediately the boy is light-headed and flick through the sites hastily. Yesterday he was too tired for it.  
The thin book is divided into 7 chapters.  
"Hmm… Chapter 1… _Don't be pitiful_. What does that mean? I'm not pitiful. I can skip this chapter."  
When Scout wants to go to the second chapter, he pauses briefly. Memories awaken in him. Memories, where he had cried and called for his Ma. And everyone saw him. Even Medic.  
Is this the reason why he doesn't find him appealing?  
Below the first chapter is written:  
To appear needy and seduce someone close each other out. The more desperate you are, the less attractive you are to others. Even if you feel helpless, don't give in to this feeling. If you want to seduce a special person, try to show careless behavior. Show yourself a little light-hearted: do something risky or unexpected, so you remain a little mysterious.  
"Well, that should not be too difficult. But what can I do that is risky and unexpected at the same time?"

"Scout? Are you smoking?"  
In the corridor, Medic meets Scout, who is leaning against the wall and loosely holds a cigarette in his mouth corner, the hands in the pockets.  
"Oh, hey Doc. *cough*"  
With all his might, the boy does not try to cough. It's the first time he smokes and he hates it. But if he can impress Medic with it, it's worth it. But he doesn't look very enthusiastic. On the contrary. He pulls the cigarette out his mouth.  
"Since when do you smoke? Smoking is risky and I'm surprised that you start now with it."  
"So that came unexpectedly for you? *Cough*"  
"Yes, indeed."  
"Then that's the right thing. *Cough cough*" Scout takes Medic the cigarette away and put it back in the mouth.  
"What the…?! Give it back!" Medic takes Scout the cigarette away again. "No smoking here!"  
"There you are, you little thief!"  
Sudden, Spy stands next to the two and takes Medic the cigarette away. "Keep away from my cigarette case in the future!" He puts the cancer stick into his mouth, but Medic does not want to accept it, either. He also takes away the cigarette from the Frenchman.  
"That applies to you, too! No smoking here! I've told you a thousand times!"  
Scout observes the situation. He couldn't impressed Medic, but he is not depressed at all, because he is able to see how Spy is scolded by Medic.

 **Chapter two:** _Relax_  
 _The more you feel comfortable, the better the other person will feel in your presence, and the more receptive he/she will be to your seduction._  
"I should relax? Nothing easier than that."

Scout grabs his baseball bat and goes outside to hit a few balls. This is what relaxes him most. And then everything else pass him. Also, where he hits his 13th ball. Directly to the window of the infirmary. The ball hits the windowpane with a loud clash. The runner froze.  
For a moment, time seems to stand still. Then…  
"SCOUT!"

 **Chapter three:** _Be in high spirits_  
 _Smile. Touch. Be silly. People like to have a good time, so do not be too serious. Have fun with the person. Enjoy the time. People with a relaxed attitude are more attractive. Humor is another important aspect of your personality that plays a role in how attractive you are to others. Be able to laugh at yourself. Show that you cannot take quite serious criticism with a smile. Because if you are teasing other people (and you should, because exuberance is attractive), then you should be able to take a joke, too._  
"Hmm… Humor is indeed a part of my personality. And I also like to stultify others."

Scout pay a visit to the warehouse, where the team keeps all their hats and grab the one that looks the most ridiculous. The potassium cap, a large banana-shaped hat and out it on. Then he detects Medic in the common room, where he and Heavy play chess again.  
Scout creeps up on Medic from behind. They don't notice him because they are deeply absorbed in their game.  
"Surprise!"  
He loops Medic from behind an arm around his shoulder and pressed his cheek to the doctor's. He was just about to make a move and with shock he sweeped two chess pieces from the board.  
"Hello there, fagots. Hey, Doc. Have you ever noticed that you have ears like an elf? Hahahaha! So spiky. You only need an elf costume and you are qualify as an elf. Hahahahaha!"  
Cloudy glances rest on the boy.  
"H-hey! That was just a joke! Just fun, just fun!"  
"What do you want, you Bengel?"  
"Nothing special. Just wanted to check out what you are doing here."  
Scout solidifies his embrace. But instead of feeling attracted, Medic seems rather irritated.  
"We are playing chess…"  
"I see."  
Silentness prevails between the three.  
"…um… don't want you say something to me?"  
"Da! Why is Scout still here?"  
"No, I mean... Don't want you to insult me... or something like that?"  
Medic and Heavy exchange glances.  
"Why should you want that? Has this something to do with your headdress?"  
"I want to prove to you that I can also laugh about myself."  
"Oh? Normally, you always laugh about others. I hardly believe that you have the certain maturity to be able to take a joke."  
"Oh, c'mon! Just try it!"  
"Leetle Scout is small, stupid and cheeky."  
"Yeah, yeah. That's me."  
"You're messy, loud, annoying."  
"Well, what am I to say?"  
"Scout has buckteeth."

"And although you are almost 23 years old, you are still not out of your pubertal behavior. Is that not embarrassing to you?"

Scout has to admit that he feels a bit offended. And he feels dumb. Probably he is not ready yet. Next chapter...  
But before he goes back to his room, he mumbled a sorry.

 **Chapter four:** _Do not always be accessible_  
 _People like being together with other people who are doing exciting and interesting things in their lives because they are happy about someone sharing their precious time with them. So what do you arrive if you try to reach them or talk to them continuous? Nothing. Therefore, you should not try to spend your time with the other person constant, but to form the relationship slowly._  
"Does that mean I should ignore Doc now? Hmm…"

Successful Scout can avoid Medic. He does not speak to him and he does not even look at him. But there is a situation where Medic is carrying a heavy, overcrowded box and a book is falling out, and no one is near, except Scout.  
"Ah, Scout. Would you be so kind and help me?"  
With his hands in his pockets, Scout looks down at the book, disinterested.  
"Scout, please."  
"Sorry Doc. I have to take a look at my calendar first. We'll defer it until later, okay?"  
So the runner turns his back to the doctor and cannot help but smile. So far, he had carry out the instructions every chapter in the book. Soon Medic would have fallen for his charm.

 **Chapter five:** _Use your body language effectively_  
 _Radiate with your movements self-confidence. Most people do not feel attracted by wallflowers but by people who are confident. Do not forget to smile and if possible make body contact if it is appropriate and not too obtrusive. Use your body language to flirt. If you are not a Goethe or a Schiller when dealing with words, you must not be afraid. You can send subtle signals to the people you want to win for you, depending on the social situation. Do not be afraid to touch the shoulder or arm of your opponent when you speak to him/her._  
 _Use eye contact when flirting. Eyes are incredibly powerful tools, so use them wisely. Watch your date in the conversation. For there is nothing more to cry for self-confidence than a deep look into the eyes of your counterpart._  
"What the hell is a Goethe and Schiller? Hmm… Body and eye contact. That should be not difficult. And I am not a wallflower at all!"

Scout waits until Medic returns from the toilet. He stood impatiently at the door. He has works a few words out which he would like to say to Medic. But he's quite nervous  
And then the door opens. Scout loses no time, stands directly in front of the doctor and stares into his eyes (he has to stand on tiptoes).  
Medic is freeze. Scout interprets this as a sign that he does everything right.  
Eyes are incredibly powerful tools.  
This really seems to be right.  
"Scout…?"  
"I have to tell you something, Doc."  
"Yes, please?"  
"Roses are red, violets are blu... er..."  
Scout stares into Medic's eyes and misses completely that his opponent feels quite uncomfortable.  
"I would never have thought I'd say that once, but you're slowly becoming eerie, you Bengel."  
"You probably do not like poems, do you? Well then uh…"  
Scout is actually a conversational genius, but only when it is spontaneous. But in this situation it is difficult. He really wanted to give him only this poem, but he is so nervous that he has forgotten half of the text. And now he has to say something else. But he does not know what to say to him, so he still stares at him. And besides don't speak glances louder than words?  
Medic looks uncertain back and forth.  
"Ah, Heavy. Could you help briefly?"  
"What's wrong with Scout, Doktor?"  
"I don't know it either. Could you take him to the side so I can finally get back to my work?"  
"Da, Doktor."  
Scout is taken from behind under the arms, uplifted and put aside.  
"Thank you, Heavy."  
 _Such an embarrassing crap..._  
Next chapter.

 **Chapter six:** _Do not be like an open book_  
 _Keep some things secret. You should not share every detail of your life directly with the other person, because secrets are always attractive. By doing this, other people notice that they do not know everything about you and this mystery gives you a seductive aura._  
 _Resist the urge to tell the other person your whole life story, especially nothing about your parents. This is not to say that parents are not great, but they are not very seductive._  
 _If you are forced to tell something about yourself, give up only vague details and do not go into too much detail. You can explain where you come from, how you grew up and what your plans for saving the world are, but keep it in conversation and do not tell a long, long composition._  
"My Ma is very seductive. Otherwise, Spy would not always be after her... Why shouldn't I tell him about her? Medic is gay. He will not be interested in her. Hmm... I'm supposed to remain mysterious. My plans for saving the world? Well, we all save the world because we make sure that Gray Mann with his robots does not get the power over Man Co. So it's nothing new. And I always hated compositions anyway. Hmm…"

"Hey, Doc."  
"What do you want again, you Bengel?"  
"Do you want to know what I'm hiding behind my back?"  
"No idea… Your baseball bat to crash another window of mine?"  
"No. And you know what? I won't tell you. This is my secret."  
"Aha…"

Chapter seven. The last chapter.  
 _Be patient_  
 _Wait until the other person's desire for you has reached the same level as your desire for them. You should believe that it is only a matter of time until someone realizes what an incredible person you are. If you do not agree, you will not be able to seduce anyone. For it is a fact that we naturally feel attracted to people in whose presence we feel comfortable, which make us laugh and a little out of our reach (because the unknown is exciting). This is the essence of man._  
"That mean, I should just wait until Medic throws himself at me? After all the things I did, he must have finally realized what an incredible person I am. He can no longer pretend that I'm not a sex bomb! I know he wants me!"

So Scout is waiting. He waits for Medic to come and confess to him that he wants his body. But he waits in vain. He always stays close to him, but he does not pay any attention to him. It's almost as if nothing had ever happened. Everything is, as always. As if Scout had never made a fool of himself. That hurts. And he gets angry.  
After days of waiting, Scout rushes into the infirmary. Medic is sitting at his desk, writing something. He looks up as Scout rushes through the double door, goes to his desk and tears apart his t-shirt in front of him. Perhaps that is the only language that these homosexuals understand.  
But Medic looks calmly at him.  
"Do you have chest pain, Scout? Can't you breathe?"  
This makes Scout even more angry. With a strong momentum he sweeps everything from the desk and lays himself on it.  
"Come on! Take me! That's what you want, isn't it?"

Medic straightened his glasses before answering calmly.  
"Scout, should I have offended you or even sent you wrong signals, I'm sorry."

"Come. Sit up."  
Medic takes Scout's hand and helps him up. The boy now sits quietly in front of him on the table and avoids looking at Medic.  
"Now tell me what's going on in you."

"Do you like me?"  
Scouts face turns red and he lowers his head.  
"I must say it was really cute of you, as you tried to catch my attention."  
"You do noticed?"  
"Of course. That was obvious. Even though many things have surprised me."  
"Well… I've tried to seduce you."  
"So it was the art of seduction." Medic laughs.  
"What's so funny? I've made myself a completely fool."  
"Who told you to do that?"  
"I read it in a book."  
"In a book…?"  
"From the library."  
"Oh, you mean this book." Medic laughed again.  
Scout feels very unpleasant.  
"This book is nothing like junk."  
"Oh, no no. On the contrary. The things described in it are already correct. However, you seem to have easily misunderstood everything in it."  
"Whatever… It was all in vain anyway."  
"But why did you want to seduce me? I thought you don't like homosexuals?"  
"…before I learned of your inclination, I often sought your closeness. I don't know why either. I suddenly wanted to be near you. I thought maybe... maybe the bond of our friendship became stronger. But now that I know you're gay, I realize slowly that I've fallen in love with you..."  
"There, there. That's not a reason to cry."  
"I don't cry...?" But after Scout had said this, he felt the hot tears on his cheeks.  
"You're really a sweet Bengel."  
"Why do you always call me like that? What does it mean anyway?"  
"Bengel means naughty boy."  
"I'm not a boy. And I'm not naughty."  
"But you are" says Medic with a charming smile. "And besides, if you take the B away, the Bengel becomes Engel."  
"And what DOES it mean?"  
"Angel."  
Scout looks at Medic with wide eyes. He puts a hand on the back of his head, pulls him down to himself and gives him a kiss on his forehead.  
"Don't fall in love with me. Don't fall in love with anyone from here. Save your love for someone out there, for whom you don't have to be dislocate. You are still so young, and you've still got all your life in front of you. You're an attractive boy. I'll bet you'll fall in love often. And then into someone who is not quite as old as I am."  
A shy smile appears on Scout's face.  
"Thanks, Doc."  
"Why don't you go to Heavy in the weights room? Lift some weights together. Besides, I think you still have something to say to him."  
"Yeah… B-but shouldn't I help you clean up?"  
"I will do that. Go now. But take a new T-shirt first."  
"Roger that. See ya."

When Scout left the infirmary, Medic begins to put the things back on his desk. At this moment, Spy makes himself felt.  
"Ah, Spy. So you've heard everything?"  
"Of course. I didn't miss the fact that Jeremy 'as behaved very strange in the last few days. And now I know why."  
"Then you didn't miss the fact that I turned him down."  
"In point of fact, no. You told 'im not to fall in love with someone 'ere. Doesn't that count for you, too?"  
"I don't know what you mean. I'm not in love with someone."  
"It's obviously that you love not only Heavy's body."  
"I have sex with Demo too, you know?"  
"Sure, but only so Heavy doesn't notice anything about your feelings for him. Demoman is nothing else but an alibi, a distraction. If you only wanted to sleep with Heavy, the Russian would be suspicious."

"Be that as it may. It still worries me that he 'as fallen in love with a so much older man."  
"Well, there are two possible speculations. Either, I am so attractive that even boys like Jeremy fall for my charm. Or he suffers from a daddy issues."  
There is a certain sharpness in Medic's voice. And Spy notices this.  
"Even though I hardly believe that he will ever talk to you again, you should finally tell him that you are his father. But not now and not here. Do it when our job is done here. And do it with his mother. Because when he knows it, he will need a lot of support."  
Spy nod lost in thought with his head. Then he turns around and leaves.


End file.
